Misunderstanding

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But not you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away


I don't know... I'm staying off msn. I can't remember my other blog's name now and I just need to vent. The past 3 days have been good for me... I looked into getting my drum lessons, got my new look, scheduled- then Rescheduled- my tattoo, got my FREE piercing, hung out with my sister... so on and so forth.

Megs was unwell and couldn't see me so we hung out with Ashley. We did some fun stuff and went to anchorage. I was unable to go see the Hoons tonight because I got upset. I shouldn't have let it get to me... I don't know who this "Misa" person is. But whoever it is should probably butt the FUCK OUT.

I only went online today to talk to Danni and I see a little msg aimed at me... I left him alone for the past days so what happened? I called him today out of habit and didn't really notice what I did until he answered. I was wrong but why would that make him hate me more? I didn't say much, just hello. I thought about hanging up but that would be creepy stalkerish.

I'm staying off msn for real now. I'm just going to blog when I can and do homework. The internet always drove me a bit crazy. I just don't understand...

He's always been so much better than me... so much higher than me, brighter than me, he could show more love than I could... I don't understand... I told him before loving someone is difficult for me.. don't make me love you if you're going to be taken away. Next thing I knew I was comfortable hearing his voice, knowing he was on this planet, sitting quietly with him, happy when he was angry, when I got angry... I'm always angry at myself for not being able to do more. I love him I love him I love him I love him, I am always so ugly and disgust myself standing next to him.

What makes me think I deserve him... what makes me think he should have to be with someone like me? A person who cannot give, a person who is too scared to live, a person who is so stupid?
Earlier this month he told me I was his other half. He held me tight and I held him and we told each other we were each other's friends. He is my friend, my soulmate, my other half, He said I was his friend, his soulmate, and his other half too.

I'm being torn into pieces and getting repaired. My heart and mind won't let me think anything bad of him, won't let me ease the pain. I will never tell anyone I hate them ever again. but I hate myself.. how can I love him when I hate me? How can I love me if I make myself hate him?
My mind is just all over the place. I found really creepy drawings that I don't think I did. I don't remember doing them... I will drive and feel like I've woken up once I've arrived. How did I get here...

I can feel the other half doing things for me though. I know she's there making me eat and drink. Making sure I don't die.. What happened to my hair? Not that I don't like it... but...
My bruises are gone finally.

Well... Ashley and I are planning on snowboarding this break. I hope meghan will be able to come too! I'm so sad she couldn't come today.



Guess mine is not the first heart broken, my eyes are not the first tocry
I'm not the first to know, there's just no gettin' over you

Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide, since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head, hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you, hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying "fool, forget him", my heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide, since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head, hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you, hopelessly devoted to you